I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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