I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
