Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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