I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
