i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
