and you said cock pushups were impossible
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
