so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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