you win again, gameday.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
