actually, I'm a sock model
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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