is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize