so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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