capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
