She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
