The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
