Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
