I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
