guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
