Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
