shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
