and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
