so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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