After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Randomize
