Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
