I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Is Oprah even human
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
