I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
we have pet lesbian snakes
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
4 words: hood of his car
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
