O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
