dude i'm inner monologue high
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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