the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
