if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
