The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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