You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
