My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
