I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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