OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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