plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
