I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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