consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Oh god it's open bar.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
