its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
