She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
