mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
