Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
