his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize