Kareoke will never be a sober sport
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
