This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
