it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
