My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
