Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize