She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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