dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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