Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
