you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
