you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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