The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
