I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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