The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
