dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
