Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We need to rekindle our bromance
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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