Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
