morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Someone shattered a urinal.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
