Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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