Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
