Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
