We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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