is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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