I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize