My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Pappa wants mamma naked
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
