Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
