Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
